The Newty Bugs was a north Bath family gang of kids that rode Mr. Preble's school bus to North Primary, Washinton Primary and Huse Memorial. The matriarch was Kathleen in that same bright red lipstick that her Mama wore. She was a real beauty at 12 going on twenty one. They looked like sisters more than the five younger daughters did. She and her next in line commander, Geri ruled the roost over the brood when Mama or Daddy weren't available. They had been very well trained. Ed's little Margie wasn't as small as Hank's nor as hard working as the other Ed's but the fact that there were three Margie's within a north Bath mile should have told me that I could be rolling in clover and destined for greatness. I was the beginning when it was IN and the end of the beginning when I was Newton. Not too many follow me but I do know where I am and where I'm going.
This isn't the Holy Bible but I call it holy hell. I am fourth in a line of eight Newty Bugs. Daddy always called me Bevie. Who in Hell, do I think I am? I am all that I believe that I might be. Until you can prove that I.m wrong, I will continue to believe that I am right. I have survived fifty years of the last millennium in Hell, Maine. That is a vast triangular slice of American Pie that borders Downeast and some of it's points. I am a diamond beacon of HOPE. I have been forged but I'm not fake. I've never enjoyed the heat so I try to maintain my own cool. What is sharper and stronger than steel? I am tempered like razor sharp steel to slice cleanly right through denial. I know what happened whenever I ask my father or mother. If they don't know, they learn as I do.
I was told that there was a time and a place for everything by many adult role models. It's how they told me to settle down or let me know that I was inappropriate. No one thinks that your opinion matters in the scheme of things unless they elect you to speak for them. Some did because I know what I'm addressing. I try to get the facts because good reporters USED to. See, how USED is the key word in that idea? There is nothing NEW in USED but they sure do grow on you. In a throw away world, we have really made one Hell of our world messes. If we recycled people rather than things and learned to appreciate each other, wouldn't that be heavenly? I have a granddaughter named Heaven Lee. Hope is her middle name. She never knew how important Hope was to her father.
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Friday, February 26, 2016
How Long Do I Have
I guess you might say that I've taken the long way home but I'm on my way. I'm so close to home that I'm dying to see my brother. I have three. Actually, I have all of the men who aren't even aware of true brotherhood. It always includes sisters. It isn't afraid of getting too close nor does it fear her power. I have been here for many moons. I chose Maine because it's always closer to home. On a clear day, I look for Scotland and dream of Loch Ness and a bard who is the family man that I always deserved. Almost heaven is West, Virginia. She is still my closest sisterly tie. She has always blamed me for choosing Sheila. The chosen ones never even realize that they are chosen. I certainly never felt worthy of love because I wanted to be just like my aunt June after my mother abandoned me. Catch that and kill it if you can, please. That is the biggest lie anyone ever poisoned my heart with. It has a name. It's called rejection. Rejection is the angry worm that burrowed its way into my childhood heart to await this glorious moment. I am bursting with love. My cup is full and it shall be again. Thank you, Jerry! I can chase rainbows or the weather or I can sit on my 'but' for the rest of my life and still live happier ever after all by myself.
I just enjoyed another gift of gratitude for everything that I need. I need three hits to the heart, son and that is Poetry In Motion because I'm writing the herstory of ME. Myself and Irene used to play horse and rider. I used to run faster that 'Ginia. She'd grab a length of dog rope and weave it over the back of my neck, forward over my shoulders then back under my arms as she giddied me up as though damnation was chasing her.
You are gonna miss me when I go. You'll never get to read the rest of my story. You can't follow along because each of us has our own lucky star. Together, we make heaven, united, we make hell. Hell is a republic. What have we always been told or read about the People's Republic of China? Where is hatred taught in these united states?
I am watching a great movie that wasn't ever available where I could select it before. It's called, The Liberation of L.B. Jones. I didn't even recognize Barbara Hershey or Lee Majors but I love Lee J. Cobb. 1969 was an important year in the herstory of me. ME is capitalized to honor my degree in STILL HERE. I've been on cardiac alert since my stressful bout with steph. You don't get every clue. Some of you have been reading me longer than some others. Radio waves or microwaves or tsunami, we get our points made in Maine. That used to mean something, didn't it. I sure was proud to be his daughter. He was proud to be Indian where that was worse than being the N word. Hell, N always stood for Newton first. Now, It stands for Nana as in NanaBev.
NanaNana NanaNana
Batwitch, catwitch
which witch, what
Drama Queen queen Bee.
Name dropper, Nut
Newtybug BEVERLY
what's in a name?
miles and miles of memories
and not a one, the same.
Never check the mileage when you're driving a classic.
Don't take my word for gospel. If God had wanted to add to the mess man has already made of the Holy Bible he certainly could have found more men to do that. Sometimes, you just have to send in the clowns or the alpha bitch. She can take care of herself and save him the trouble. She creates her own world and you characterize it.
You shouldn't be worrying about trusting me; Can you trust yourself? Consider that you are lying to yourself whenever you say that you don't.
I trust me because I mind my own business first so much better than I used to.
I don't have a family that really pays any attention to me. They are wise. They know that I'm OK with whatever happens next. I've survived worse and I'm stronger than dirt. Bury me NOT. Just let me be free to burn and I'll be slow and warm as ashes. That cinder needs to cool before it goes into MY beds. I am the dragon known as Winter. I shed scales and they call me a Nor'easter down home. btw, hu m I? Hu? Indeed? Hu MAN.
It's ok if you need to behave yourself. I will do as I please...
" cuz You don't own me", sings Lesley Gore
"Heaven, I'm in Heaven..." plays the radio on the shelf over the kitchen sink. Bevie's home, all alone and she's become a time travelor. They say nobody lives forever but I bet I finish all these brownie's and make somemore even if I have to invent that recipe. Grammarly provides editing that I use only to proofread my own writing so I can decide whether I meant what I said. If you can figure out what's going on, they'll never let you get away. Either keep it to yourself or talk so much and so cryptically that you keep them puzzling. They love their puzzles.
The man upstairs is buzzing my ceilings. It sounds like Artie's vaccing, creaking and moaning. Sometimes, he sets his beard on fire. I can smell it burning. The girl across the hall forgets to shut her stove off before she leaves the complex.
I just enjoyed another gift of gratitude for everything that I need. I need three hits to the heart, son and that is Poetry In Motion because I'm writing the herstory of ME. Myself and Irene used to play horse and rider. I used to run faster that 'Ginia. She'd grab a length of dog rope and weave it over the back of my neck, forward over my shoulders then back under my arms as she giddied me up as though damnation was chasing her.
You are gonna miss me when I go. You'll never get to read the rest of my story. You can't follow along because each of us has our own lucky star. Together, we make heaven, united, we make hell. Hell is a republic. What have we always been told or read about the People's Republic of China? Where is hatred taught in these united states?
I am watching a great movie that wasn't ever available where I could select it before. It's called, The Liberation of L.B. Jones. I didn't even recognize Barbara Hershey or Lee Majors but I love Lee J. Cobb. 1969 was an important year in the herstory of me. ME is capitalized to honor my degree in STILL HERE. I've been on cardiac alert since my stressful bout with steph. You don't get every clue. Some of you have been reading me longer than some others. Radio waves or microwaves or tsunami, we get our points made in Maine. That used to mean something, didn't it. I sure was proud to be his daughter. He was proud to be Indian where that was worse than being the N word. Hell, N always stood for Newton first. Now, It stands for Nana as in NanaBev.
NanaNana NanaNana
Batwitch, catwitch
which witch, what
Drama Queen queen Bee.
Name dropper, Nut
Newtybug BEVERLY
what's in a name?
miles and miles of memories
and not a one, the same.
Never check the mileage when you're driving a classic.
Don't take my word for gospel. If God had wanted to add to the mess man has already made of the Holy Bible he certainly could have found more men to do that. Sometimes, you just have to send in the clowns or the alpha bitch. She can take care of herself and save him the trouble. She creates her own world and you characterize it.
You shouldn't be worrying about trusting me; Can you trust yourself? Consider that you are lying to yourself whenever you say that you don't.
I trust me because I mind my own business first so much better than I used to.
I don't have a family that really pays any attention to me. They are wise. They know that I'm OK with whatever happens next. I've survived worse and I'm stronger than dirt. Bury me NOT. Just let me be free to burn and I'll be slow and warm as ashes. That cinder needs to cool before it goes into MY beds. I am the dragon known as Winter. I shed scales and they call me a Nor'easter down home. btw, hu m I? Hu? Indeed? Hu MAN.
It's ok if you need to behave yourself. I will do as I please...
" cuz You don't own me", sings Lesley Gore
"Heaven, I'm in Heaven..." plays the radio on the shelf over the kitchen sink. Bevie's home, all alone and she's become a time travelor. They say nobody lives forever but I bet I finish all these brownie's and make somemore even if I have to invent that recipe. Grammarly provides editing that I use only to proofread my own writing so I can decide whether I meant what I said. If you can figure out what's going on, they'll never let you get away. Either keep it to yourself or talk so much and so cryptically that you keep them puzzling. They love their puzzles.
The man upstairs is buzzing my ceilings. It sounds like Artie's vaccing, creaking and moaning. Sometimes, he sets his beard on fire. I can smell it burning. The girl across the hall forgets to shut her stove off before she leaves the complex.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Indigo Child, Midniterainbow
I am one of the earlier editions of 'indigo children'. We're only now, discovering who and what we are. We have begun to understand why. We come to a place of inner peace after surviving literal hell on earth. We aren't like you. You'll either cherish us or hate us for our differences because that is what people do. We are me, collectively since I am never alone. Interestingly, I chose Maine which is also ME. It is as if I have given me all of this world in a jigsaw puzzle box without the complete picture and challenged me to put it together when it's never been completed. I see things differently than most others. Crazy or weird is the chaos that I have learned to survive.
Most children have better instincts than they are allowed to develop without prejudice. It's called brainwashing.
It is my opinion that all governments interfere with personal freedoms. It is as natural as waterfalls cascading over cliffs to rebel against restrictions. You can follow the path of least resistance but we generally create our own. All creators do.
God is called the creator when it is the goddess who actually creates a new living being. I have always chosen to be she for this reason. Divine love is love so genuine that you don't need to earn it because you deserve it. It keeps a mother from eating her own young.
I don't believe in what can't communicate with me but I also know when I quit listening or I'm not tuned in.
My mother used to say, "There's just enough truth in that to make it dangerous." My father just chuckled or wept. Men are truly powerless over the rage of a woman's grief.
It is very difficult to continue against a lifetime of grief since pain continues in these vessels of blood. It requires more faith than I've ever had in myself. That was then, this is now. I am STILL.
Most children have better instincts than they are allowed to develop without prejudice. It's called brainwashing.
It is my opinion that all governments interfere with personal freedoms. It is as natural as waterfalls cascading over cliffs to rebel against restrictions. You can follow the path of least resistance but we generally create our own. All creators do.
God is called the creator when it is the goddess who actually creates a new living being. I have always chosen to be she for this reason. Divine love is love so genuine that you don't need to earn it because you deserve it. It keeps a mother from eating her own young.
I don't believe in what can't communicate with me but I also know when I quit listening or I'm not tuned in.
My mother used to say, "There's just enough truth in that to make it dangerous." My father just chuckled or wept. Men are truly powerless over the rage of a woman's grief.
It is very difficult to continue against a lifetime of grief since pain continues in these vessels of blood. It requires more faith than I've ever had in myself. That was then, this is now. I am STILL.
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