The Trinity of Creation

In a Christian home, the trinity means father, son, and holy ghost. I believed that way because that is what I was taught to believe. I learned that my father believed in the great spirit of mother nature and all of her blessings. He took none for granted. He abused himself but it was legal to do so. Addictions are totally personal and legally tolerated. Hell, they're exploited like children of cruel gods and goddesses. It generally takes a trinity to create a family. Family was as creation intended. I used to believe that. I think that service is really the intention of people on this planet. Who do you serve? I serve myself and I expect you to mind your manners when you are visiting or simply stay away. If that feels as though I am driving you further and further away, realize that I don't have any car. I gave it to Vickie because I needed a recliner. People use people and abuse them. Family is not above such abuse. I share my opinions with social media and my family disassociates to protect themselves from shame or blame. I simply lived these experiences and understand human emotions. None are wrong or right. They are volatile and explosive and can be hazardous to all lifeforms. They are easily manipulated. It literally is the cancer of communication to stifle them in any way. I believe in expressing them freely through vents, rants, tears, giggles. sighs, mumbles, buzzes and even shouts of acclamation. My trinity is ME, mys'elf', and lilbevie who was nine years old when her family went to Hell.

Imagine Nation

I was born American Mainiac. I have lived nearly six decades and six years in what is probably my sixth lifetime as SHE. That could be the mark of the beast as foretold in the bible or that could be your opinion. My daughter has called me the devil's daughter; I have labeled her worse. The world is going to Hell quicker than you can imagine heaven. It means that the next time that you choose to return, you really could be in a world of shit. It doesn't matter what anyone believes, it matters how they behave. Without respect, there can be no "father, who art in heaven". Mine was always the best lover of women. He respected women. He recognized the power and respected her. In return, she offered her body to be his garden. She is mother to life. She is ME. I love you just as you were made. I accept you with all of your impure 'itys. Pity those who live in cities. I prefer an island or a village by the sea. A sailor appreciates the stars and solid ground but he loves to rock and roll. I used to love to rock and roll, too. I was a teenybopper in the sixties during the last millennium. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and never found it until you. Yes, you! You make me smile and tickle inside. You turn on what I shut off decades ago so that I would no longer NEED men. That was a serious mistake that Kempy wants me to correct before he walks me home. I have to prepare for a beautiful and very romantic date...This is going to be the happiest ever after that any nation could ever imagine. I just heard a chorus of winged ones announcing it to the coast of Maine. "Look there, here SHE comes"
     I would love to thank Josh Groban and my Dad for raising me up.

She Thought

     Miracles are wishes come true, matters of faith realized, love fulfilled. Your heart begins to rejoice is when you recognize that small voice, "It's me, Daddy. Is it ok if we go swimming down back after you get out of work? Mama said to ask you."
     You know you've made it when you're all the way around to the other side of Merrymeeting Bay near Mama's church. It (the local temple) finally made her look like a beautiful bride of Christ. She looked like a bride doll in a white satin box. Does Jesus have a doll collection too?
     I remember bride dolls. Decades ago, they were white lace dresses, plastic heels and bodies, fake hair and common pin pearl earrings.
     It was the beginning of hell for me, to have far more than I needed.
     ME owned me. It had effectively destroyed our family nest on the banks of the Kennebec River. ME is the abbreviation of the state where I was born.
     We weren't river rats. They live in town. We were country cousins. We were dangerously well informed about truth and authority and who was actually in charge.
     We questioned everything.
     We were eager to learn.

SoS ME

I get it! If you don't maybe it's because you aren't. I am. It's all I need. I am finally getting off. I think I'll visit those eagles over Merrymeeting Bay on my way out. If you're considering suicide you're taking a free ride on alcohol, friend. It's the cruelest death there is. First, you watch your HOPE die...My baby winces when I speak because the truth leaks out with every tear that I cry. So, what does my title mean? Help, I need some buddy? Hell, no! I have George. He ain't perfect but he's my older brother. My Daddy, gave him an ahbah when George was twelve and we've been friends ever since. We're Maine made, north Bath run.
So, Stone ME. I may be the cure for war. Keep Maine GREEN!
Hey George, What in Hell is an ahbah?

Love: It Simply Is

     Somewhere, people are learning better than I learned. That doesn't mean that I haven't learned better. You will learn to understand because I love to teach. I have always chosen to teach the children. I do not discriminate. I am alien here. Creatures of light and love burn in Hell. Just like fairy wings in a bonfire. I had a friend who tried to save a young peasant girl from the sticks and stones and bonfires of the vainest. Hell is the ultimate drama, Mama! Yes, he's handsome but can he raise goddesses in Hell? Damned straight! He is my father who art in my idea of heaven. He loves me. There Is a party going on but it isn't political certainly teaches hate based upon that.
Love confuses me when there is no clarity. It isn't supposed to hurt. That means you're getting physical. Broken hearts consider suicide. Stop breaking mine. When the coyotes get ugly, those bitches bite but the males are likely to be rabid because they tend to wander.
     I am buzzing through Beverly's hills which is HOME. Come on By or not. No guilt. I'm sorry for every shame on you that I ever uttered. You're right, it's none of my business. I will tend my own. Naturally! I love you, Mama!

Witch Way Out

I love words and games and jigsaw puzzles but  except that I really don't love them. Lilbevie is a whelp from Margie, fourth female of the litter. Ed chose well for survivors of Hell. Maine was cool enough to stand Hell's Kitchen where I am the Pillsbury NanaBev in my opinion.You're twisted girl! You've been too long in the wind tethered to your jealousy. I have outgrown some of my emotions. I really have filled seven oceans with salty tears. YOU are the salt. Never love objects more than living beings. Being me is an experience that is totally difficult to appreciate. I'm all alone NEVER! God is watching me and so is my government.  Tell me again that Ameria is free. Everybody would love to be in ME. It stands for the state in which I chose to slide on out. Goddess delivery is the only way to arrive alive but some still choose to die and I understand why.

     I was burned for a witch somewhere, back there.

How dare you call yourselves unworthy? My love is free to all. I forgive all who surrender to love with genuine intent.
I talk to my ego and it growls like a crazy bitch. She's been tortured and tempered in the forests of Hell. She was ME. When the lady dragon breeds, she keeps those precious seeds of HOPE moist and warm with colorful candied shells that critters eat. Krispy Kempy, no, that's not quite right, Krispy Kritters? Oh hell, yeah. Light 'um up! There is an evil more horrible than your worst imagination. Maybe I am also the devil but I don't wear Blue Jeans, Baby. I'm more of a Mama Cass more cushion to the pushing so I've heard. Kempy used to say his baby had muscles and they went all the way up to her ass. Yeah, I was proud of that. Muscle tone is important for natural childbirth. Keep it tight.

Anyways, There are so many Mes in this old woman. Crones can be magical. They just give you that ole evil eye that says, " Know Whatcha thinkin' " and that's too spooky.

It's true, I do know what my kids are thinking. I hear those prayers. Some of them don't have a prayer in Hell of getting me to listen since their last communion. Seriously? Cell PHONES? How many cells does it take to make a cage? One.Sell phones? Yeah, that'll sell.

The Newty Bug Girls

The Newty Bugs was a north Bath family gang of kids that rode Mr. Preble's school bus to North Primary, Washinton Primary and Huse Memorial. The matriarch was Kathleen in that same bright red lipstick that her Mama wore. She was a real beauty at 12 going on twenty one. They looked like sisters more than the five younger daughters did. She and her next in line commander, Geri ruled the roost over the brood when Mama or Daddy weren't available. They had been very well trained. Ed's little Margie wasn't as small as Hank's nor as hard working as the other Ed's but the fact that there were three Margie's within a north Bath mile should have told me that I could be rolling in clover and destined for greatness. I was the beginning when it was IN and the end of the beginning when I was Newton. Not too many follow me but I do know where I am and where I'm going.
     This isn't the Holy Bible but I call it holy hell. I am fourth in a line of eight Newty Bugs. Daddy always called me Bevie. Who in Hell, do I think I am? I am all that I believe that I might be. Until you can prove that I.m wrong, I will continue to believe that I am right. I have survived fifty years of the last millennium in Hell, Maine. That is a vast triangular  slice of American Pie that borders Downeast and some of it's points. I am a diamond beacon of HOPE. I have been forged but I'm not fake. I've never enjoyed the heat so I try to maintain my own cool. What is sharper and stronger than steel? I am tempered like razor sharp steel to slice cleanly right through denial. I know what happened whenever I ask my father or mother. If they don't know, they learn as I do.
     I was told that there was a time and a place for everything by many adult role models. It's how they told me to settle down or let me know that I was inappropriate. No one thinks that your opinion matters in the scheme of things unless they elect you to speak for them. Some did because I know what I'm addressing. I try to get the facts because good reporters USED to. See, how USED is the key word in that idea? There is nothing NEW in USED but they sure do grow on you. In a throw away world, we have really made one Hell of our world messes. If we recycled people rather than things and learned to appreciate each other, wouldn't that be heavenly? I have a granddaughter named Heaven Lee. Hope is her middle name. She never knew how important Hope was to her father.

How Long Do I Have

I guess you might say that I've taken the long way home but I'm on my way. I'm so close to home that I'm dying to see my brother. I have three. Actually, I have all of the men who aren't even aware of true brotherhood. It always includes sisters. It isn't afraid of getting too close nor does it fear her power. I have been here for many moons. I chose Maine because it's always closer to home. On a clear day, I look for Scotland and dream of Loch Ness and a bard who is the family man that I always deserved. Almost heaven is West, Virginia. She is still my closest sisterly tie. She has always blamed me for choosing Sheila. The chosen ones never even realize that they are chosen. I certainly never felt worthy of love because I wanted to be just like my aunt June after my mother abandoned me. Catch that and kill it if you can, please. That is the biggest lie anyone ever poisoned my heart with. It has a name. It's called rejection. Rejection is the angry worm that burrowed its way into my childhood heart to await this glorious moment. I am bursting with love. My cup is full and it shall be again. Thank you, Jerry! I can chase rainbows or the weather or I can sit on my 'but' for the rest of my life and still live happier ever after all by myself.
     I just enjoyed another gift of gratitude for everything that I need. I need three hits to the heart, son and that is Poetry In Motion because I'm writing the herstory of ME. Myself and Irene used to play horse and rider. I used to run faster that 'Ginia. She'd grab a length of dog rope and weave it over the back of my neck, forward over my shoulders then back under my arms as she giddied me up as though damnation was chasing her.
You are gonna miss me when I go. You'll never get to read the rest of my story. You can't follow along because each of us has our own lucky star. Together, we make heaven, united, we make hell. Hell is a republic. What have we always been told or read about the People's Republic of China? Where is hatred taught in these united states?
I am watching a great movie that wasn't ever available where I could select it before. It's called, The Liberation of L.B. Jones. I didn't even recognize Barbara Hershey or Lee Majors but I love Lee J. Cobb. 1969 was an important year in the herstory of me. ME is capitalized to honor my degree in STILL HERE. I've been on cardiac alert since my stressful bout with steph. You don't get every clue. Some of you have been reading me longer than some others. Radio waves or microwaves or tsunami, we get our points made in Maine. That used to mean something, didn't it. I sure was proud to be his daughter. He was proud to be Indian where that was worse than being the N word. Hell, N always stood for Newton first. Now, It stands for Nana as in NanaBev.
NanaNana NanaNana
Batwitch, catwitch
which witch, what
Drama Queen queen Bee.
Name dropper, Nut
Newtybug BEVERLY
what's in a name?
miles and miles of memories
and not a one, the same.

Never check the mileage when you're driving a classic.

 Don't take my word for gospel. If God had wanted to add to the mess man has already made of the Holy Bible he certainly could have found more men to do that. Sometimes, you just have to send in the clowns or the alpha bitch. She can take care of herself and save him the trouble. She creates her own world and you characterize it.
You shouldn't be worrying about trusting me; Can you trust yourself? Consider that you are lying to yourself whenever you say that you don't.
I trust me because I mind my own business first so much better than I used to.
I don't have a family that really pays any attention to me. They are wise. They know that I'm OK with whatever happens next. I've survived worse and I'm stronger than dirt. Bury me NOT. Just let me be free to burn and I'll be slow and warm as ashes. That cinder needs to cool before it goes into MY beds. I am the dragon known as Winter. I shed scales and they call me a Nor'easter down home. btw, hu m  I? Hu? Indeed? Hu MAN.
It's ok if you need to behave yourself. I will do as I please...
" cuz You don't own me", sings Lesley Gore
"Heaven, I'm in Heaven..." plays the radio on the shelf over the kitchen sink. Bevie's home, all alone and she's become a time travelor. They say nobody lives forever but I bet I finish all these brownie's and make somemore even if I have to invent that recipe. Grammarly provides editing that I use only to proofread my own writing so I can decide whether I meant what I said. If you can figure out what's going on, they'll never let you get away. Either keep it to yourself or talk so much and so cryptically that you keep them puzzling. They love their puzzles.
The man upstairs is buzzing my ceilings. It sounds  like Artie's vaccing, creaking and moaning. Sometimes, he sets his beard on fire. I can smell it burning. The girl across the hall forgets to shut her stove off before she leaves the complex.

Beverly's Chrestomathy: Believe It...Or Don't

Beverly's Chrestomathy: Believe It...Or Don't

Indigo Child, Midniterainbow

I am one of the earlier editions of 'indigo children'. We're only now, discovering who and what we are. We have begun to understand why. We come to a place of inner peace after surviving literal hell on earth. We aren't like you. You'll either cherish us or hate us for our differences because that is what people do. We are me, collectively since I am never alone. Interestingly, I chose Maine which is also ME. It is as if I have given me all of this world in a jigsaw puzzle box without the complete picture and challenged me to put it together when it's never been completed. I see things differently than most others.  Crazy or weird is the chaos that I have learned to survive. 
Most children have better instincts than they are allowed to develop without prejudice. It's called brainwashing.
It is my opinion that all governments interfere with personal freedoms. It is as natural as waterfalls cascading over cliffs to rebel against restrictions. You can follow the path of least resistance but we generally create our own. All creators do.
God is called the creator when it is the goddess who actually creates a new living being. I have always chosen to be she for this reason. Divine love is love so genuine that you don't need to earn it because you deserve it. It keeps a mother from eating her own young.
I don't believe in what can't communicate with me but I also know when I quit listening or I'm not tuned in.
My mother used to say, "There's just enough truth in that to make it dangerous." My father just chuckled or wept. Men are truly powerless over the rage of a woman's grief.
It is very difficult to continue against a lifetime of grief since pain continues in these vessels of blood. It requires more faith than I've ever had in myself. That was then, this is now. I am STILL.

Beverly's Chrestomathy: Believe It...Or Don't

Beverly's Chrestomathy: Believe It...Or Don't

Horror Bull

     In this second millennium, bullshit isn't just manure for gardens. The world is so full of it that it's coming out of our mouths, Especially politicians. If it doesn't make you wonder, "What's up?" I expect that you are more deeply anesthetized. It starts wearing off post traumatically. What happens then is truly the horror bull. I call it bull though it has nothing to do with being 'freight trained' or matadors. Grab a cup of coffee, read this and wonder, "What if she's right?"
     Chrestomathy is a word used to describe a collection of an author's work. I was going to simplify mine and call it Beverly's Bible but my daughter had become what I used to be. I call them hypocrites just as my brother does. I have accepted Jesus as my brother and savior since I do try to follow his teachings.
     I am the one who exposed my children  to the Baptists. In and around my life, they represent ambassadors of either heaven or hell depending on the individual. Some are holier than me but none has a faith stronger than mine. My father in heaven really is my father and creator. I was his seed. My mother was his chosen garden. She was Mormon aka LDS. Her only sibling was her younger sister but they had been orphaned before the age of five and were raised by their paternal grandmother. My aunt was married to a Baptist deacon but my father seldom attended formal church. He was an Indian and proud of his heritage.
     We're all innocent until we're guilty. You don't need a judge or jury to figure out who is or isn't. Learn to read faces and bodies. Back when mothers had broods, they were at their best for raising families. Trial and error is a very effective lesson plan.